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Books, Podcasts, Articles...

Saying - One day you will tell your story of how you've overcome what you're going through now...

Healing after unintentionally harming someone, is a long and often very lonely process. There are few resources available to people in this community. Whilst there is deep grief and trauma, there is often an overwhelming feeling of shame and blame. The resources listed here have been of use to others who have been seeking support.

If you find other resources that you think could support another person needing this type of compassion, understanding and healing, please email or leave a message so the resource can grow.

Resources for you...

  • The Hyacinth Fellowship - This is a website that has been developed specifically to support people who have accidentally harmed others. The website is a wonderful resource. This is a North American based website and is a place where you can join others from across the world who have similar experiences to your own. From here you can join a monthly fellowship group if you choose. You can find them on Facebook here.  The Resources page is comprehensive and worth a look.

  • An article telling of the experience of an accidental killer - The Taboo Grief of an Accidental Killer

  • Podcast - Audacious with Chion Wolf - Extended conversation with Maryann Gray of Accidental Impacts (The Hyacinth Fellowship)

  • Coping With Grief - written by Mal McKissock. When an accident takes a life or lives, the people who die are sometimes people we love and are very close to. This book provides some practical insight and help for those who are grieving a loved one

  • In this Red Table Talk video you will see others who have accidentally taken the life of another. 

  • 'Resilient Grieving' by Dr Lucy Hone - This book provides many useful insights into how to grieve and manage trauma. Lucy and her family lost their daughter as a result of a car accident. Lucy and her husband have compassion for the person responsible for the accident and see blame as counter-productive. It may be healing for you to read a self-help book written by someone who has compassion for your situation whilst intimately knowing the pain of losing a child through tragedy.

  • Trevor Hone is interviewed in a podcast 'Roll with the Punches' - Forgiveness Amidst the Grief'. Trevor explains the forgiveness he felt towards the person whose actions caused his daughter's death - (32 minutes in)

  • To understand how trauma can affect someone long after an event you may be interested in reading Bessel Van der Kolk's The Body Keeps the Score.

  • Gabor Mate is an expert in trauma informed healing. His documentary The Wisdom of Trauma  can currently be viewed on Kanopy, to which New Zealanders have access through a public library membership. 

  • The Myth of Normal by Gabor Mate helps the reader to understand the impact of trauma and provides a pathway for healing.

  • Mark O'Brien wrote a book called Crashing, I Love You, Forgive Me. Mark is a CADI and the book tells of his experience and brings insight and hope.

  • Left Turn: Life Unimagined by Jen Eikenhorst tells of the experience of a teacher, wife and mother whose life is changed forever when she accidentally caused the death of young man in a traffic accident.

Other Resources?

We are always looking for additional resources to add to this page. Please email us with your suggestions.

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